Today was my last day with Living Hope. My last day as a LSE volunteer out in Capricorn and Overcome Heights. When we were driving away today Jennifer just looked at me and said well...were done. I honestly can't believe how fast these past 8 months have gone by. Im sure for some they have gone by extremely slow...but its here.
It would be impossible to talk about all that I've learned while here and things that I am thankful for from this part of my life because the list never ends. I am a better person today than I was 8 months ago. I met strangers that have turned into family and have been blessed with absolutely amazing kids that I've grown to protect as my own. Couldn't thank God more for choosing me to be the one that comes here, choosing me to be sent out to show others his love through my actions. Choosing me to leave the people I love so much at home because he knew being away would only strengthen those bonds.
"Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said, "Here am I. Send me!"
- Isaiah 6:8
This week we had a team with us because it was Holiday Club. We had the kids in the morning and the teens in the afternoon. At first I was not very happy with this because it was MY last week. I wanted the kids to be sad about ME leaving, not these other people. I soon decided I was being ridiculous and let my selfishness go away. The team that was here were super nice people, got to know a few more than others. One of which reminded me SOO much of my nanny it was insane. I was in Capricorn this whole week except for yesterday and today, I went out to Overcome so I could see those kids too. The first day Enrico, Megan and myself got fixed up, jumped in the back of a car and drove through the community making noise and getting all the kids to know about club. It was so much fun
call out time!
Well on Wednesday before teens club, Enrico and I took 3 of the team members with us and we just walked through Capricorn looking for teens to tell them to come to club, like a call out. But not as extravagant as we did for the kids call out :] I think it was eye opening for them to be able to see where these kids live. I know it was for me the first time I walked through, and 2 of them had never been to Africa before. I bring that up because this morning while we were having our devotion, one of the ladies that walked with us began talking and she had tears in her eyes. She was just thanking us for letting them be a part of the week and how much respect she has for what we do everyday. But the most humbling part was when she looked at me and said when we were walking through Capricorn, I was blown away at how many times I heard 'Shelby!' being called out from different kids. Those kids adore you and it shows. She said I can't imagine how great of a feeling that is. I got tears in my eyes because that is going to be one of the things I am going to miss the most. It is a fantastic feeling, one I took for granted until this morning, just because I became so used to it that it didn't phase me anymore. Now it's one of the little things I will always cherish.
After the devotion someone asked how I'm keeping it together so well. It's because even though this was my last week with Living Hope, I will still be in South Africa. Jennifer and myself are going on a road trip for 2 weeks and will be back for a few days before I catch my flight. So I am going to be able to go to club one more time in each community. That is when I'll get to have my selfish moment. It will be back to normal club, no other teams, just us and the kids. That is probably, well absolutely, when I'll get sad. I can say a million times over I won't cry...but it always takes one hug from a certain person to get me started.
During club I worked with the 10-12 year olds so I got to know them quite well. They were 'my' kids. On Monday I had to say goodbye to some of them because they were in a soccer camp all week. They got to be at club on Monday and we were talking and saying our goodbyes. It was Tyrese, Kevin, Heinreigh and Stanley. At one point I looked over and Tyrese looked upset so I gave him a big hug which led to this...
I absolutely love this picture. It was a sad moment that got turned around by something Stanley said...which is SO typical. That kid can turn any situation into a good one and it shows in this. These boys are going to go far in this world, no doubt about it.
Now...we all know your not supposed to have a 'favorite' when working with children but lets be honest it's bound to happen. I don't just have one favorite, but a few. Most people still do not understand why these boys have a place in my heart but they do. From the beginning I just saw something in them. Today even Stacey randomly said you sure do have a heart for the trouble makers. Can't say that I can help it! Pretty much everyone sees them as such and don't get me wrong they don't always make the best decisions, but when I look at them I just see a few kids that really need to be loved. We have absolutely had our moments..terrible attitudes, mean scowls, breaking up fights, cussing...but not once have I stopped trying to get through. With all those moments we've also had many conversations, hugs, smiles, && laughs. From the beginning until now I have seen a change in them. Not saying it is all because of me but I do like to think that I've been a help in that.
Neville(orangeshirt) is one I've seen alot of change in.
He used to not speak a word to me, he'd act like I wasn't there when i'd be getting onto him. Now he'll always come and sit in my lap during group time. He will talk to me and ask me questions even though his english isn't the best. We have our little moments where I see the potential he has that others may not see. Today when I was about to leave to go over to Overcome he made it very clear that he wanted me to stay in Capricorn, which warmed my heart. But as I was getting into my car to drive off he got in and locked all the doors and said alright shelby, now you can go. just the little things like that go along way with me... especially from those boys. It's been made aware that some of the kids we have sniff glue and smoke weed. I know of a 7 year old that does and it breaks my heart. The other day when these boys walked in I made them open their eyes real wide so I could see the white parts. Soon they caught on to what I was doing, checking to see if their eyes were red. Checking to see if they were high on something. That was the moment they finally opened up to me about all of it. Can't tell you how many times I've asked them if they do that bad stuff too and they'd look me in the eye and would always say nope. This time they looked me in the eye and timidly said yes. I just thanked them for finally being honest. One step at a time right...they told me where the kids go and buy the glue to sniff and how you even do it. I made it clear what that stuff does to you and how disappointing it is to hear they do it.
Yesterday in Overcome during the teens club, they had a problem with some gangsters. JFK is their gang and they are notorious for robbing and stabbing people. They are one of the main reasons Overcome is becoming really dangerous. Well an incident occurred and 3 guys from the gang came to the container high on something and were talking all sorts of nonsense to our guys. One of the long term volunteers like myself, Holden, pushed the guy out of the container..which led him to reach into his pants for a knife. Luckily the teams driver showed up right as this was happening...such a God send, and he got out and yelled at them in Afrikaans and got them to leave. One of the guys that was in the container had a gun, according to the teens that were there for club. It shook up everyone pretty bad. I wasn't there but I had been there just a few hours earlier for kids club and am so thankful they didn't come then. Not sharing this to scare yall or make you uneasy but just to show that this is the reality of working where I work and even now I wouldn't change a thing about it. The sad part about this and what hit me the most when I was talking to the guys that were there was that these gangsters were 14 and 15 years old. They were just kids and right then I saw my kids faces. I realized that this could potentially be what my boys become if they choose the wrong path and it just kills me. In 2-3 years that could be Denzil..Jeremiah..Ashley..Neville..Deverline..and the list goes on.
All I can do is pray that if they are ever faced with the opportunity to follow that path that something deep down inside of them tells them no. It would be awesome if they could hear me telling them how disappointed i'd be in them. But Lord willing they will know which way to go whenever..if ever that time comes.
yep...just no words to describe how happy I am when I see these guys participating in club. Not only singing the songs but actually DOING the motions to songs we sing. Being the first to raise their hand to answer a question about the bible story. Actually telling me the memory verse after memorizing it. Helping with food and cool drink when it's that time and staying around to pick up afterwards. That used to be a long shot when it came to them and now it's starting to become more of a weekly thing. Once I leave South Africa, there is a big chance I may not see these kids again. Sure hope I will but there's no promise. && if thats so I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. && I have full confidence that I will leave leaving them with much love from me, encouragement to be better, and the knowledge that they have the power to be anything they can be.
the rest is up to them and God
3 cultures. 3 languages. 1 God
No comments:
Post a Comment